FEELING LOST? GET RID OF THESE HABITS
COMPLAINING
Mentioning something unsatisfactory or unacceptable is perfectly fine, but complaining for the sake of emotional venting is generally very counterproductive. This is a habit everyone should try to break: complain as little as possible, even when you really want to.
CATASTROPHIZING
Granted this was part of a fairly serious anxiety disorder I was struggling with, but even for those who aren’t facing mental health concerns this remains a serious challenge. When you try to feel a sense of control by already pre-imagining everything that can go wrong you create a damaging feedback loop that keeps you in a constant state of fear.
NEGLECTING YOURSELF
This is often born from low self-esteem, but it can also be the kind of habit you carry on without even being conscious of it. I have friends who rarely look after their appearance or style, for example, because they were taught from a young age that they aren’t valuable. They absorbed certain lesser of low value, often from parents and peers, and as a result end up neglecting themselves and their needs.
PEOPLE PLEASING
None of us want to clash or have conflicts, but people pleasing crosses the line into considering our decisions and behavior based on how others will receive them rather than on what we truly want. It’s OK to say no. And it’s OK to disappoint people sometimes in order to do what’s necessary for your own life and in line with your own values.
SEEKING VALIDATION
Not only is your self-worth now depending on the next opinion you hear, you’re also potentially opening yourself to manipulators, egoists and bullies who can prey on this need of yours to benefit or take advantage of you in numerous ways.
BUYING INTO OVERLY IDEALISTIC NARRATIVES
Idealism can be great when it drives real action. But it can also be quite divorced from reality and actually weaken your resolve, almost like a siren song leading you away from your goal. Whether it’s love, finances, future goals or your spiritual journey, make sure you’re not just believing whatever happens to make you feel nice or give you a buzz. Make sure it’s real.
PROCRASTINATING
t’s more often clicking on another YouTube video you’re barely even interested in just to pass the time, or playing a video game because “why not?” even though you actually promised your girlfriend you’d clean the house earlier. The result of this isn’t just that less gets done, it’s that you lose respect for yourself and stop believing your own promises. As a result, you slowly start to feel more and more lost in life.
HIDING YOURSELF
“What, me? No I’m fine,” you tell your friend as he smokes next to you and gives you asthma. Hiding your light under a bushel does yourself and others a disservice.
You’re not just undervaluing yourself, you’re also depriving others of all the talents and wonderful things you have to share. Speak clearly, speak proud, be yourself!
There’s no guarantee that everything will be smooth sailing, but that’s just the point:
Life’s already a challenge, don’t make it worse on yourself by engaging in the habits above.
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